So this morning I pull up in front of my office. Singing Biscuit had been eating a banana, and if you know anything about Singing Biscuit, he will ask a million questions and will keep on asking questions even if you think you’ve given him enough info to solve the problem.
So here is the scene, we are about 5 minutes early for his school bus and all this boy has to do is get out the car and finish half a banana:
Fo: (pointing to the passenger side of the car which is nearest the curb) Singing Biscuit, make sure you get out that side.
Singing Biscuit: Ok. But what do I do with my banana?
Fo: Take it with you.
Singing Biscuit: But I’m not finished.
Fo: I know. Take it with you and eat it on the bus.
Singing Biscuit: But we’re not allowed to eat on the bus
I’ve now noticed that my supervisor just got out his car and is walking his son onto the bus. Never one to be outdone, I unbuckle my seat-belt, so I too can walk this little biscuit to the bus…
Fo: Ok Singing Biscuit, take it with you and eat it as you walk. You can finish it before you get on the bus.
Singing Biscuit: But the bus will leave.
Fo: Singing Biscuit, it’s half a banana. Eat the thing and be done with it.
Singing Biscuit: But I can’t eat on the bus.
Fo: I know, which is why I said eat it before you board the bus.
Singing Biscuit: But where will I “pit” the peel when I am done?
Fo: In the garbage.
Singing Biscuit: But the bus will leave!
At this point we are out of the car and I am ready to rip into this little boy and damn near shove the last piece of the banana into his “got-damned” mouth to shut him up. I don’t care if he eats it anymore. I just want him to shut up.
[To clarify the distance he has to walk is about the distance between two baseball bases, and he has two bites left in this banana, if even that much…]
But just as I am about to light into his little million question asking behind. I look up and see the school’s president standing about 3 yards away away with his three young children. The kids are all running out the car. Zipping up their jackets, waiting for him to take their hands so they could all walk hand in hand. The President saw my Supervisor first and then me, so he’s looking at me & Singing Biscuit, waiting until I see him so we can acknowledge each other. i give him a wave. Put a smile on my face and place my hand on Singing Biscuit’s shoulder.
I don’t know if Singing Biscuit saw his life flash in front of his eyes or what, but he shut up. Took the peel off the banana. Handed it to me and I dropped it in the trash can in front of the bus, and he was off on his merry way with the rest of the kids.
Lord only Knows that if I didn’t catch my two bosses out the corner of my eye it was about to be ugly….