The transition from co-parenting during the day to sole parenting has revealed more distinctions than I expected.  On the one hand, I’ve been surprisingly more productive (although the people who are still waiting back for replies from me might think differently) because I’m not compelled to interact with someone else during Turtle Biscuit’s naps.  On the other, since I can’t nurse, I can’t pacify, therefore Turtle Biscuit is clearly aware of Snuggle Biscuit’s absence during the day and I have to watch as she adjusts.  None of this of course makes me an expert, but there are a few things that I have quickly learned which are key for a stay-at-home dad.

1. Dude, She’s just not that into you: Parents, and I believe father’s in particular feel we always have to entertain children.  Some might say this is our way of compensating for some of the bonds that mothers have that we can’t replicate.  Whatever the reason, we’re quick to make funny faces, toss them up in the air, and play all kinds of games.  This is all gravy, but it’s also remember that it’s important for children to learn how to entertain themselves and being up in their faces doesn’t all the time doesn’t allow them to accomplish this growth.  I’ve quickly learned Turtle Biscuit’s signs that she’s not interested in playing or talking and would prefer to be left alone.
2. Read A Book: In light of what I just said, children still require lots of attention and it’s also important to communicate with them.  But don’t spend all that time going goo-goo ga ga, etc.  And don’t kill yourself either trying to figure out things to say to them.  Instead, just pick up a book or play a audio tape with some nursery rhymes and sing along.  Hearing you talk at slow deliberate/natural speeds helps a child develop language skills, and repeating what the book or tape is saying helps you stay sane.
3. Take a shower & get dressed in the AM: You’re less likely to veg out and stay inside all day if you’re dressed.  If you were going to an office you wouldn’t roll through in your pajamas, and while I’m not saying you should put on a suit and tie, you should at least have on a shirt and pants that you can go outside in at a moment’s notice. Plus, how would you feel if the roles were reversed and your partner was in his/her pajamas all day everyday when you came home from work.
4. Eat only things that you or someone in your household has cooked: Sure I have a morningstar veggie burger every day, but for the most part I am trying my best to only eat foods that I’ve cooked when I’m home with Turtle Biscuit.  This doesn’t mean don’t gnosh on fruits & vegetables.  It means don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re burning serious calories on that drive to Panera, or five minutes of playtime is enough to reward yourself with some cookies.
5. Go outside OFTEN: If you’re fortunate to be in a climate that’s conducive, step outside your door.  Even if it’s walking downstairs in your building to get the mail.  The more you cross that threshold the better it is for your health and likely for your child’s.

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