Home Alone: Walk This Way

It seemed absurd at first, but since we had a winter baby in the northeast (during a record snowfall season at that) mall-walks quickly became a go to activty for my wifem Turtle Biscuit and I these past few months. With the weather warming and Snuggle Biscuit (formerly known as my wife) back at work, Turtle Biscuit and I are now set to take our mall-walking skills outdoors.

In addition to getting some fresh air, walks and car rides are guaranteed to put Turtle Biscuit asleep. With a 1pm conference call on tap, and knowing that she usually sleeps for about two hours when on these jaunts, Turtle Biscuit and I headed out about quarter to noon today to conquer the wild streets of Bowie Maryland. At about quarter to one, a little over two miles into our walk, my heart began racing as I noticed Turtle Biscuit’s eyes opening up and it seemed as if my plan had backfired. Had I walked too far? Or had I committed the ultimate rookie mistake and forgotten that sidewalks are bumpier and not as conducive to sleeping as the smooth mall floors. With each step, Turtle Biscuit seemed more awake, and my plans for the afternoon seemed in greater jeopardy.

Wait! Now that we’re two miles from the house, what if she’s hungry and begins crying for a bottle? Oh no, I’m going to look like a derelict walking home with a crying baby. Great job dad. #majorfail on day two.

Taking a risk, I slid into the nearby Panera to see if suspending the motion would help get her back to sleep–fortunately it worked and all was saved. Turtle Biscuit was able to enjoy her midday nap in peace. Dad took his call–and another walk was completed.

2 comments

  1. Afua

    this post was hilarious. there is something about the chilling anxiety of a lil baby unexpectantly waking up when an important event is pending…its not like any other feeling.