The transition from co-parenting during the day to sole parenting has revealed more distinctions than I expected.  On the one hand, I’ve been surprisingly more productive (although the people who are still waiting back for replies from me might think differently) because I’m not compelled to interact with someone else during Turtle Biscuit’s naps.  On the other, since I can’t nurse, I can’t pacify, therefore Turtle Biscuit is clearly aware of Snuggle Biscuit’s absence during the day and I have to watch as she adjusts.  None of this of course makes me an expert, but there are a few things that I have quickly learned which are key for a stay-at-home dad.

1. Dude, She’s just not that into you: Parents, and I believe father’s in particular feel we always have to entertain children.  Some might say this is our way of compensating for some of the bonds that mothers have that we can’t replicate.  Whatever the reason, we’re quick to make funny faces, toss them up in the air, and play all kinds of games.  This is all gravy, but it’s also remember that it’s important for children to learn how to entertain themselves and being up in their faces doesn’t all the time doesn’t allow them to accomplish this growth.  I’ve quickly learned Turtle Biscuit’s signs that she’s not interested in playing or talking and would prefer to be left alone.
2. Read A Book: In light of what I just said, children still require lots of attention and it’s also important to communicate with them.  But don’t spend all that time going goo-goo ga ga, etc.  And don’t kill yourself either trying to figure out things to say to them.  Instead, just pick up a book or play a audio tape with some nursery rhymes and sing along.  Hearing you talk at slow deliberate/natural speeds helps a child develop language skills, and repeating what the book or tape is saying helps you stay sane.
3. Take a shower & get dressed in the AM: You’re less likely to veg out and stay inside all day if you’re dressed.  If you were going to an office you wouldn’t roll through in your pajamas, and while I’m not saying you should put on a suit and tie, you should at least have on a shirt and pants that you can go outside in at a moment’s notice. Plus, how would you feel if the roles were reversed and your partner was in his/her pajamas all day everyday when you came home from work.
4. Eat only things that you or someone in your household has cooked: Sure I have a morningstar veggie burger every day, but for the most part I am trying my best to only eat foods that I’ve cooked when I’m home with Turtle Biscuit.  This doesn’t mean don’t gnosh on fruits & vegetables.  It means don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re burning serious calories on that drive to Panera, or five minutes of playtime is enough to reward yourself with some cookies.
5. Go outside OFTEN: If you’re fortunate to be in a climate that’s conducive, step outside your door.  Even if it’s walking downstairs in your building to get the mail.  The more you cross that threshold the better it is for your health and likely for your child’s.

For more on the adventures of Dad & Turtle Biscuit Click Here

Both Snuggle Biscuit & I had to go into our respective offices yesterday so we had to take Turtle Biscuit to the baby sitter.  It was her first day with a sitter and for me a slice of things to come.  I now know have a sense of what her first day of school, college & possibly giving her away at her wedding will be like.  At some point all parents must come to terms with fact that our children are growing up before our eyes, and for me that journey became a bit realer than realer yesterday.

For more on the adventures of Dad & Turtle Biscuit Click Here

Growing up with two parents who worked evenings made me have to constantly have to tip toe around the house lest I wake either of the sleeping giants.  As long as I didn’t wake them up I was free to watch whatever shows I liked, read whatever I wanted, and pig out on my favorite snacks (usually a triple decker peanut butter & jelly sandwich on wonder bread white bread).  I presumed those days were long gone once I moved out on my own.  Getting my own place was to have been the start of a new chapter where I could play music as loudly as I wanted whenever I wanted.  For the most part this has held true for the last fifteen years or so, at least that was the case until Turtle Biscuit came along.

Much in the same way that I painstaking worked as kid to move around our Jamaica Queens apt as quietly as possible, I’m finding myself having to do the same at the Bowie homestead whenever Turtle Biscuit goes down for a nap.  Often times this is not that hard of a task because when she’s sleeping I’m either sleeping myself or taking the opportunity to do some work.  Then there are moments like today where I am practically overtaken with fear at the prospect of Turtle Biscuit waking up prematurely from a nap.

About a week ago I discovered that she’s now violently startled by sudden loud noises like a sneeze or powerful cough.  When this happens she starts crying uncontrollably and I can feel her heart racing as I try comforting her.  The first time it happened it was probably scarier for me than it was for her because not only had I never heard her cry like this, but since I was holding her, the feeling of her heart racing so vigorously was jarring.

With that experience lodged in the back of my mind you could imagine my anxiety this afternoon when as Turtle Biscuit began dozing off after I finished feeding her I noticed the house phone lying on the bed about 3 ft from where were we sitting on the rocker.  I knew that Snuggle Biscuit might be calling in to check in at any moment and I dreaded the thought of her hearing Turtle Biscuit shaken up.  So as I rocked Turtle Biscuit to sleep, I kept an eye on the phone trying to will it not too ring.  I was virtually chanting–doing my best Houngan impersonation as I worked to keep that phone silent.

The gods must have heard my prayers because by the time Turtle Biscuit was sound asleep and ready for me to put her down in the crib, the phone had yet to ring.  So I gently stood up, laid her down in the crib, picked up the phone, and tip toed into the living room, and for the next 2hrs I did what I had to do just as quietly as a mouse–or rather just as I used to–when I was a kid growing up and daydreaming about the day that I would become the boss of me.

For more on the adventures of Dad & Turtle Biscuit Click Here

Turtle Biscuit and I would not be denied our daily outing. Therefore even though we didn’t have a stroller or a carrier we still headed out into the wilds of the DC “surburbs.” We even went outside without a diaper bag…

We headed out to one our favorite haunts, the pond and caught up with our good friends, the geese. Turtle Biscuit said a few hellos, waved at a few friends as they flew off. She even took time to pose for this photo.

Til tomorrow…

For more on the adventures of Dad & Turtle Biscuit Click Here

Snuggle Biscuit got sick in the middle of last week so she ended up not going into the office, which is why there weren’t any new Turtle Biscuit Adventure updates.

Turtle Biscuit & I are back on the ranch solo today. It’s a bit chilly, but I was still confident that we’d be able to get our midday walk in. That is until I noticed that I made a major mistake. I forgot to bring in the stroller last night, so off it went to work with Snuggle Biscuit this morning.

Oh no, what are Turtle Biscuit & I going to do without our wheels today?

It seemed absurd at first, but since we had a winter baby in the northeast (during a record snowfall season at that) mall-walks quickly became a go to activty for my wifem Turtle Biscuit and I these past few months. With the weather warming and Snuggle Biscuit (formerly known as my wife) back at work, Turtle Biscuit and I are now set to take our mall-walking skills outdoors.

In addition to getting some fresh air, walks and car rides are guaranteed to put Turtle Biscuit asleep. With a 1pm conference call on tap, and knowing that she usually sleeps for about two hours when on these jaunts, Turtle Biscuit and I headed out about quarter to noon today to conquer the wild streets of Bowie Maryland. At about quarter to one, a little over two miles into our walk, my heart began racing as I noticed Turtle Biscuit’s eyes opening up and it seemed as if my plan had backfired. Had I walked too far? Or had I committed the ultimate rookie mistake and forgotten that sidewalks are bumpier and not as conducive to sleeping as the smooth mall floors. With each step, Turtle Biscuit seemed more awake, and my plans for the afternoon seemed in greater jeopardy.

Wait! Now that we’re two miles from the house, what if she’s hungry and begins crying for a bottle? Oh no, I’m going to look like a derelict walking home with a crying baby. Great job dad. #majorfail on day two.

Taking a risk, I slid into the nearby Panera to see if suspending the motion would help get her back to sleep–fortunately it worked and all was saved. Turtle Biscuit was able to enjoy her midday nap in peace. Dad took his call–and another walk was completed.

Our lives are filled with memorable firsts. The first time we rode our bikes without training wheels. First kiss. First job. Etc. Today, I add another first to my list: my first full day alone with my daughter, aka, Turtle Biscuit.

After three months of parenting with the training wheels, my wife returned to her office today and it was me and let Turtle Biscuit and I to fend for ourselves.

What does any responsible father do after kissing his wife goodbye and darting off to tend to his daughter? Well of course, he texts a few friends and lets them know the new game plan. To which, one replies, “welcome to the big leagues.”